Due to lack of interest, I have decided to discontinue this blog series.  It was a good excursion! Blessed sailing on the Isle of View.  The Skipper

The Isle of View- Living in a Home

Isle of View- Living Safely at Home

 

It’s more difficult to prepare reflection on this blog than it is to prepare a homily. I’m not sure if it’s  because I am more used to preaching than I am writing. I believe another factor is that in writing this blog I have to start from scratch. In preparing a homily I am given the readings from Scripture from which to be inspired by the Holy Spirit. I do pray before I write this blog. Then I stare at the blank Word document page. I ask myself why I am doing this and what do I write. I know I started this series of Isle of View because I had slowed down tremendously after my surgery in December. I had time and ideas to work from in writing this blog. Now I am back in the frenzy of church ministry. And I find I have little time and fewer ideas.

However, I know God speaks to us through our everyday experiences just as much as he speaks to us to the Scriptures. In listening to what is happening in the world today, I’m struck, again, by the violence in the world. And the violence that seems most prominent in my consciousness right now is the violence that is called domestic.(“Domestic” comes from the word which means home. To me, home is a place where one can feel safe.) I am not sure why it’s called domestic other than that it happens usually within a house between people who usually live in that house. I just can’t imagine what it would be like to live in the place and never feel safe, respected, and loved.

There is much discussion about the causes of this kind of violence. Most would agree that there is an issue of power within a sense of insecurity that is manifest in this use of violence. This wanting power over someone comes from a lack of personal identity and self-empowerment. Because this violence is more often expressed in men, there is some discussion about what is devoid in the development of these men. I have heard and personally agree with the idea that men need to be affirmed as they grow through adolescence into adulthood. This affirmation needs to be expressed in some ritual/initiation that helps a male know and believe that he, indeed, is developing into mature man. Father Richard Rohr speaks to a father- wound where there is lack of other men guiding, affirming, and validating the male’s development, dignity, and identity.

The other side of this domestic violence is the victim’s world. This world, as with the perpetrator’s world, probably started out, in their childhood, by learning from and watching adults behave in violent manners. The lessons that were learned in being exposed to this violence, was that it’s okay to treat one another this way and that the victim deserves to be treated with less respect than what human dignity demands. Oftentimes, the victims believe that in some way they’re helping and even expressing love for the perpetrators by allowing themselves to be beaten and abused. There can be a belief that the victim can actually help and change the perpetrator from this violent behavior. The victim can gain a sense of being needed by the perpetrator in the dynamic of being abused and then being asked by the perpetrator to be the forgiver. There can be a sense of importance gained by dispensing mercy and forgiveness. However, this is a very unhealthy and destructive way to gain personal dignity, sense of well-being.

Obviously, dealing with this type of violence needs to be addressed in the development of children. Men and women need to teach their children how to treat each other with dignity and respect. Conflict will always be a part of life. We also need to teach children how to manage, confront, and even utilize conflict to work out our everyday living together. Disagreement is the arena for these personal voids of human development to be expressed. However, disagreement need not, nor should it ever be, the cause or the reason for violence to be displayed. The daily manifestations of violence and killing within home situations, only point to the urgent and drastic need for adults to support, train, and encourage children to manage conflict and even use conflict to get in touch with the significance of personal values in the engagement of love with other human beings. Conflict can and should help us to understand ourselves and challenge our commitment to love one another. Conflict management should be a part of elementary education. I believe this would even help to deal with the bullying that is happening in school these days. Parents, please assure that this is being taught not only in your own home but at school. I hope and pray that we are adequately dealing with this within our parish setting. Indeed, domestic violence has risen to a level that demands that all of us address this not only in encouraging those who are engaged in this violence to withdraw from that environment, but also to positively teach our children so that this terrible, destructive and disrespectful way of relating to each other does not continue to be repeated.

In the Isle of View, I believe there can be and will be a change in how people experience life in their own house. I pray that those feel threatened and insecure in these houses may someday be able to be loved, appreciated, and safe in what is typically called, a home.

The Skipper

Vacation: Contemplation on the Isle of View

‘tis the season for upcoming vacations. The weather instills a yearning for easier and more leisure living. Warm weather seems to entice us to engage in activities that are less laborious and more personally refreshing.

What are vacations for? I know when I was in school, it was a time to get caught up. Most of my vacations were spent writing term papers. Without vacations, I don’t think it would have passed many courses. Even now, I’m afraid to leave the routine of daily living for fear of coming back to a pile of papers and a computer full of emails.

No matter who we are, everyone knows the vacations are to refresh us, spiritually and physically and emotionally. We spend our vacations in such a variety of ways it’s hard to enumerate them all. Some travel;  some work on their second homes, the so-called cabins; some do leisure reading; some develop a different skin color; some totally immersed themselves in hobbies like: gardening, sailing, painting, biking, blacksmithing, wood carving, and candle making; some spend time with their families; some dedicate their vacations in doing nothing. Maybe you are one of those who do a combination of a few of these things.

Whatever you end up doing during the summer months, I pray that you have, that is, make time for quiet and contemplative reflection on God’s presence and generosity. For many of us, it is difficult to sit still for very long. It takes practice, discipline and appreciation of the value of just sitting. Some would say that this is doing absolutely nothing. The art of being present to presence is not valued in this culture. How many of you have taken advantage of the opportunity that the Saturday morning centering prayer affords us in the parish? Centering prayer is truly a good way to develop another aspect of what it means to be on vacation. If vacation means freedom from duty or measure of productivity, then centering prayer can do much to teach us how to let go of agendas, performance, and accomplishments. Centering prayer is allowing God to do the work. In this prayer, we simply are. It feels, at times, like a spiritual vacation.

May the upcoming vacations be safe, fulfilling, refreshing, and most of all gratifying in the simple fact of being. If anything is accomplished or happens at all in your vacation this summer, may you allow God to touch you in a way that you know you are blessed, you are loved, and you are empowered by His Spirit to make an eternal difference in this world.

This week, I’ve decided to append an article to this blog. It is timely and it explains the feast of St. Dymphna which is on May 15. She is the patron saint of those who suffer from mental illness. I believe strongly in the power of prayer to heal us. I strongly believe that we need help in praying about our illnesses. This is why I have decided to include this article which was given to me by one of our parishioners, Carol Couchot.

The Centering Skipper

A Healing Prayer-- by Carol Couchot

 

The topic of abuse always hits home to me, as my mother was very abused all her life, mentally, physically and sexually by both her father and mother. Feeling rejected and unloved, my mother committed suicide at the age of 50, when she felt life was no longer worth living.

My daughter, Elizabeth, has her MSW degree and lives in Gillette, WY. She has recently started the Mary Jane Brining Project (named after my mother) with a goal to eliminate the Stigma of Mental Illness and promote better care and concern for those affected by abuse.

 Being Catholic, we turn to Patron Saints, asking for their intercessory prayers for various needs. We recently learned about Saint Dymphna, patron of mental illness. Dymphna vowed a life of chastity to God. She was martyred (beheaded) by her father at the age of 15 because she rejected his sexual advances. Saint Dymphna was canonized a saint on May 15, 620 – 640 AD. I began just praying for her intercession of prayer, then was called to make the chaplets and bracelets, which you have been blessing for me. From some of the testimonies, it is evident God has graciously blessed St Dymphna and hears her prayers for those afflicted with mental oppressions.

As I dug deeper into Saint Dymphna’s history, I learned that there is a National Shrine dedicated to her in Massillon, OH which is only about 3 hours away from my home town of Piqua, OH,where my family lived. It is ironic that we lived that close and that my mother was buried on May 15, which is the same day Saint Dymphna died and now dedicated to her feast day. I only wish I had known about Saint Dymphna years ago. Maybe her prayers of intercessions would have made a powerful difference my mother’s life, breaking the chain of abuse for her, and our family as well.

The Mary Jane Brining Project, a foundation to help eliminate the Stigma of Mental Illness and promote care and concern for those suffering from mental abuse.

My daughter, Elizabeth, has always had a way of helping people with a problem, even as a young girl. As she got older, the problems became harder and she realized she would need education to appropriately help people overcome their issues and be able to move ahead in society. She went to college and then on to earn her MSW degree in social work in 2006. 

Liz, never knew her grandmother (my mother), who this project is named after, because she died before Liz was born. As Liz became an adult, the questions about how her grandmother lived and died brought answers she did not like. She knew that people with mental disorders do not get the concern and care they need or deserve. With this in mind the Mary Jane Brining Project became her goal.

We read and hear about unnecessary tragedies every day, many of which have to do with someone’s mentality. In the aftermath of the recent school shootings and other devastating incidences with tragic endings, Liz finally organized the Mary Jane Brining Project to promote care and prevention for people with mental illness. Liz worked with the Campbell County Community Resource Coalition in Gillette, WY, through which the project received its 501© status. She also established a pilot intervention program to help women better access mental health resources through working with primary care physicians to promote better treatment and care. Her next step include plans to become part of the Substance Abuse Advisory Council.

Needless to say, I am very proud of my daughter and support the project she has founded for the protection and care for the mentally disabled. Please read her letter below and visit her Facebook or BlogSpot to read the stories and testimonies and how it is possible to help people with mental illness to reclaim their lives.

Elizabeth’s mother,

Carol Couchot 

 

Mary Jane Brining Project

http://www.facebook.com/#!/maryjanebriningproject

http://maryjanebriningproject.blogspot.com

Thank you,

Mary Jane Brining Project

Elizabeth Pierson, LCSW

 

VISION OF PEACE ON THE ISLE

PEACE ON THE ISLE OF VIEW
Yesterday, we “celebrated” the 38^th anniversary of the ending of the Vietnam war. We remember, not because we want to relive the atrocities and the chaos of that era, but because we never want to relive that horror again. Remembering helps us to know how terrible war is. Most would say that nobody was a winner in that war.  Almost as many would say there is no winner in any war.

What is the purpose of war? Those who lived and remember World War II know the saying, “the war to end all wars”. Seeing what happened after that war, negates the validity of that statement. I have heard that World War II turned our economy around. I wonder about the simplicity of that statement. It’s difficult if not impossible, to measure the efficacy of any war, especially out of context of so many other global dynamics.

Building on last week’s posting of the Isle of View, violence and war have no place. In these last two weeks of Easter Season, Jesus is saying goodbye to his disciples. He does this by saying, “I give you peace not as the world gives you peace. Peace I give to you. Peace I leave with you.” My guess is that Jesus is referring to how the world tries, over and over again,  to establish peace through violence. The irony of trying to force peace through intimidation, manipulation, and elimination, has always struck me as true sand on which to try to build any foundation. When will humanity learn how to manage itself?

The peace of Jesus Christ is built on love and selfless service for ALL brothers and sisters, ALL neighbors, ALL nations, ALL human beings. To be selfless and to serve is a posture and a perspective that’s seems so vulnerable and noninfluential. It definitely smacks in the face of our culture as helpless, weak, and spineless. The peace on the Isle of View is only able to be established by fully respecting each one’s dignity and God’s willing justice for all. This justice seeks equity, equality and the common good, all at the same time. We struggle in how to balance individual rights alongside the common good. This is the arena in which the lawyer works. Mostly, we spend our time discerning which individual right has more weight over the other individual’s right. Most often this discussion never deals with the common good’s right. Actually, that phrase never is heard in discussion over rights. The love of the Isle of View always takes into consideration the individual and the common good. Jesus loves us so personally and takes in consideration the good of all. Indeed, as Pope Paul VI said, there can be no peace on this earth without establishing justice. Each and all have to be taken into equal consideration.

Peace can only come from a genuine love for everyone. Self-concern has to give way to the love of the other. If I am more important than anyone else, there will never be peace on this earth. Life on the Isle of View necessarily involves education, reflection, and practice of nonviolence and selfless service. Peace does not come simply from wishing it. It takes discipline, conscious and deliberate decision making, and constant examination and accountability of how we are carrying out principles of justice living.

At St. Joseph the Worker, there is presently a reflection process available precisely for this purpose. It starts on May 28 from 9: 30 – 11:30 a.m.  The group will meet on the fourth Tuesday of each month. I strongly believe this process should be ongoing within the Isle of View. Without it, how would there be peace?     The seeking peace Skipper.