Isle of View: New Life

ISLE OF VIEW   --NEW LIFE

 So this is what it is like to live in the present moment.  Everything that I am experiencing seems to be new.  Because it is so new I’m not sure what it means nor am I sure of what it will be in the future.  The feelings and the sensations are completely new to me.  I’m discovering what is new and different. Yesterday, I discovered that the left side of my body is very spotty in its detection of what is hot and cold.  I am not sure at this point in time what parts of my arm or leg on the left side is able to sense what is hot and cold.  I discovered that I had burned myself on my finger without realizing it. (The surgery successfully destroyed the nerve cells on my right side.  Therefore, it was a real surprise that my left side was affected too.)

Feeling is different for me now.  The signals received by my brain are foreign. And as such, it needs time for discernment and translation. I am discovering that places, that are numb on my right torso, really aren’t numb at all. Rather, a different faraway sensation is perceived if I but quietly and attentively listen to the signals. This in-body experience is totally out-of-body. It is a new life. And as such: discovery, exploration, learning, adapting, accommodating, and trusting are all part of this new world.

So many times we hear in the Scriptures and in our faith that God brings us into New Life. I’m realizing that the word, “new” isn’t always something that is readily welcome.  New life is always different and therefore unfamiliar. The meanings of which may never be revealed.  But on this island of faith where we have the view that God is always active, alive, and good, we believe that it can and will be used for God’s purposes. It is also true that how God uses these things in this new world may never come clear to those who struggle with getting used to these new things.  The only thing that is needed is trust that God WILL use these new things;  at least, in the life of Isle of View,    Clear sailing in the unfamiliar water,  spotty "sensation"-al  Skipper Don.

 

 

Isle of View--the loss without pain

I am launching out into new territory by starting this second article. I hope in future to be able to frequently write different thoughts I have arising from “isle of view”. With my recent surgery, my life has been changed. I hope to be able to reflect that change in these articles. Of course, an isle is only a piece of land surrounded by water. But it gives a certain view that otherwise would not be available. Being an island helps to see quite a distance around you.

I believe the spiritual life (living a life in the spirit) is like seeing from an island. Living in and with God gives one a perspective that deepens and enriches the meaning of life. Being on this island is a gift. And it takes trust in making a journey to that island. Yes, with technology, hard work, a sense of commitment, it is possible to arrive at this island. Some would say it’s a matter of luck to have found this island; others would say that, because of so many unpredictable and uncontrolled variables, God has a hand in it.

I am very much on an island where I feel so surrounded by God’s love and presence. I have to truthfully say am not sure how I got on this island. All I know is that I have not done anything to deserve it but am trying as best I can to fully be absorbed into it.

As many of you know, since my motorcycle accident 30 years ago, I have been struggling with pain in my paralyzed arm. That struggle has been very complicated and growth inducing. A major part of that struggle was not to eliminate the pain or find its solution, but it involved discerning its meaning. Because now, after 30 years that pain is eliminated, I find myself, in analyzing what has happened the last 30 years living with that pain. Ironically, living without the pain involves a loss. I believe that pain truly played a significant role in my life. It helped me to be more compassionate to others who suffer. It also taught me that God is in charge and I am not. No matter what treatment or medication or remedy I sought, the pain was always present. I fought to have control but obviously I gave up, or should I say, I gave over. I truly believe that my decision to have something as drastic as the surgery was my way of saying to God: “I give myself over to you, God.” I was totally at peace with my decision and my journey to Chicago for the DREZ procedure.

As I put myself on the operating table, I saw myself being put on an altar. This pure act of surrender was God’s opportunity to not only heal me but cut me open. I was ready for anything and I believe I got it. In the next months and years I believe I will be trying to understand and manifest what this last sentence really means.

The risk of the sharing this experience is that the focus will be on me. When in fact, the total intent of all this is to give the attention to God.  When one concerned person, who visited me, asked how I was doing, I tried to explain what I am writing here to her. She asked me the excellent question: “Is this about you really or is it about God?” This definitely is a danger in sharing one’s own experience.  I believe this is the only arena in which we totally and personally experience God’s presence and love. this is the risk I take in writing and sharing what's happening in my own isle of view.

 

Intro. To Isle of View Series

I thought I would launch the isle of view series just before Lent. This might give us a way to be connected in our spiritual journeys during Lent. I’ve always wanted to write some of my perspective and thoughts. But truthfully I have been afraid that I would not be able to meet my own personal deadlines. With this initiative today, I’m stepping out in faith that God will continue to work through me and in me in a way that would, in some way, shape, or form, be of help in our growing relationship with God.

I’ve chosen to call this series: “isle of view” in honor of my grandfather who lived with our family in my formative years. He moved in with us when grandmother died. He deeply mourned and missed her. It was obvious in all of what he did and what he thought about. I was happy to be somewhat of a companion to him in those lonely years. We played pool and cribbage. We watched baseball games together. I remember most vividly the times we prayed together. I remember, whether we were at church or praying the rosary at home; how much consolation and strength my grandfather gained from those times of connection with God.

I have prayed for this endeavor called “Isle of view”. Because of the faithfulness and devotion of my grandfather, I came to see and experience the strength, the perspective and the deep love that a person can have with this faith’s perspective. Thus, an Isle of view is the name I give that perspective. I use that title because my grandfather always wanted to have a boat. And he always dreamed that if he had a boat, he would name it, “isle of view”. I always thought of how clever that name would be for a boat. For indeed, that is what a boat gives; a place from which one can be on the water and in the water and have a perspective that would not otherwise be afforded without that floating device.

One could say faith is something like an isle of view. Immediately, what comes to mind is that it keeps us afloat especially when the waters of life are rough. But more deeply, I believe faith gives us a different way, a unique perspective, from which we can look at the world. Faith changes everything. From this view, events in life take on such a different, deeper and more profound meaning. In these series of articles, I hope to share some of the view that I have because of the faith I have been given. I can’t really tell you what kind of boat I am in; because this boat seems to keep changing for me. I’m sorry if this offends boat lovers but I’m not really sure it matters what kind of boat we’re in. I think what matters more is what we see when we are in the boat. I know as a younger child, I didn’t have my own boat. I went along for the ride in other’s boats. I’d have to say that I got my own boat when I was in college. And that boat took me to places on the water that I probably was able to see before from others’ boats. But because it was my own boat I could look at what was around in a new and fresh way. I think because it was my own boat, I took risks and made decisions to go out farther and most likely faster than I ever had before.

I think the boat that I’m in now is one that goes very slowly and very intentionally. The boat seems to know where I need to go . It silently and calmly moves along the shore where people gather and greet one another. I’m able to stop at the docks of their hearts. I’m able to invite them along in this always spacious and accommodating boat. I guess that’s what faith is all about. Not that you have it. But what you are able to do with it. Indeed, faith is not a noun but a verb. That is why I like to say that I am “faithing” fine; when people ask how I’m doing. Until the next article, blessed sailing. Skipper Don